Brutal Honesty

They say that honesty is the best policy.  This often holds true, but there are exceptions to every rule.  What about when someone’s feelings are involved.  Now I’m not saying that one shouldn’t be honest, but what I am saying is that there is a way to say things so that you don’t come off looking like an asshole all the time.  The ass-holish type of honesty is what I mean when I say “brutal honesty.”  Way too often people associate this type of honesty with “keeping it real” or “keeping it 100.”  My question: is it really necessary to be like that all the time???

I have several close friends who have adopted the brutally honest approach and I can see the need for it in certain instances, but those instances are few and far in between.  I’ve never been big on the approach because I’m the type that will attempt to spare the other person’s feelings first.  To me, brutal honesty is a bully approach that people cling to in efforts to hide their own insecurities and shortcomings.  They are the first to get upset when someone is brutally honest with them and can’t seem to take what they dish out.  If you are constantly taking the approach of being an asshole to everyone around you, truth or not, nobody will want to be around you, ask you for advice, give you advice, etc.  That sounds like a pretty lonely life to me.

There is a way to be honest with people without the unnecessarily brutal additions.  When someone asks “how does this make me look”, it’s not necessary to say “you look like a fat ass.”  You could have said “I think you should wear something else.”  If someone cooks for you, you don’t have to say “this ish is nasty as hell.”  You can easily just not say anything or make an attempt to eat some of it.  These are just suggested answers, but I think you get the point.

My advice to the brutally honesty: be careful who you’re an asshole to.  You never know how it will come back to bite you.   Like I said before, there are times when brutal honesty may be necessary.  If you’ve tried to be nice several times and the person won’t get the hint, maybe you need to call on the brutal honesty to get the point across.  It should be used as a last resort though. 

My advice to the recipients of constant brutal honesty:  get new friends, lol.  Just kidding.  But learn to take what they say with a grain of salt and don’t let how they say it affect you if you truly believe that there is a message somewhere in their statements.   No need to stress yourself out with other people’s lack of tact.

The Best That Ever Admitted It,

Mr. Insecure